The Author as Development Worker: notes on Remains by Daryll Delgado (Ateneo de Naga University Press, 2019) [Book Review]


The author is a development worker in Daryll Delgado’s novel. Ann goes to Tacloban, Leyte recently destroyed by Super Typhoon Yolanda (international name Haiyan), as part of an NGO but also in the hopes of resolving family secrets, both close and distant. Her homecoming of sorts aboard a C-130 Hercules, the sea and the city below her, brings back memories of childhood – her father’s jokes, but also a triggering of the senses, specifically getting a whiff of decay. This jolt, corporeal and intimate, is at the same time a moment of language returning, Waray – her fluency of which helped her bag the assignment. When she says dunot out loud, her companions in the plane, twice as much as outsiders than she is, are confused. These passages of layered and detailed recallings throughout the book are vivid anchors to the protagonist and the aftermath of Yolanda. When recalling a typhoon in ‘84 that Ann experienced as a child, she describes “The smell of the ocean, for instance, which became more intense, darker, denser. In fact, before the storm, I could already sense a shift, something thick, almost spicy, in the air. And, of course, the smell of rotting and decay that pervaded the air, after the storm.”

Ann’s narrative oscillates between reconstructing family memories and her documentation work in the field, in both undertakings the tone shifts eerily from nostalgia, fascination, and disenchantment. Ann and her sister Alice grew up in a household belonging to a provincial middle class, both parents are white-collar professionals. There’s also Mano Pater, his father’s assistant and her Tito Jun, her mother’s brother. These two male figure, whose roles remained unclear, will be pivotal to the movement of Ann and her family. They fled Tacloban shortly after Jun was murdered, and now Ann returns to look for Mano Pat’s daughter – hoping she survived the deluge. It becomes apparent that these undefined relations are parts of what I like to call middle class silences. To a child of comfort, not everything has to be spelled out.

These hazy memories are confronted by Ann via coming into terms with Waray, the mother tongue made alien because of relocation, now serving as a bridge to her developmental work and personal mission. “We experienced other typhoons after it, but that one in ’84 was the one that made the strongest impression on me. That was also when I first heard the word lunop, mentioned many times by our labandera and by Tita Lina. I always associated it with the word inop—dream—and linop—confusion or dizziness. I never fully understood the term, but, for years, every time I heard it, lunop, I had a mental image of an entire place overcome by great dark waves, or of me struggling to reach the upper level of an old house but overwhelmed by wave upon wave of black water. A little bit like mania, tantrum, I guess. But this was one of my recurring dreams, my inop, from which I always woke up confused, linop.”

Ann is based in Manila but always on the move, her father has passed away, and her mother is hinted to be working for progressive solidarity networks in the US. Meanwhile Alice, also in the US, is someone to talk to, either in making sense of, or giver of caution to, her sister’s altruistic adventures in disaster zones or as companion in the game of rebuilding family history. These exchanges sometimes bringing relief and insight, sometime stress and annoyance. Remains starts strong with all these overlapping plot arcs, but all these will also burden it in the end. None are unpacked extensively, nor are they linked clearly. The sense of disarray lingers, both temporal and spatial, on Ann and on readers. Obviously not on the same level to what the survivors went through, but it prevents her from being totally invested in the tasks she set out for herself. Ann trying to make sense of her family’s past, and not arriving at clear resolutions, is juxtaposed with her interactions with grieving locals asked to compose their trauma. The open-endedness of it all serves a purpose, but I wish there was a bit more to latch on to beyond episodic encounters.  

Ann spends her days in Tacloban translating trauma and havoc into reports, deliverables, infographics. Testimonies or transcripts, attached to the end of chapters, are written in Waray, and later translated into English by Merlie Alunan, for us readers and for NGO’s funding source. Some are straight forward, others are lachrymose, a few idiomatic. All responses to, and afterlives of, disasters. These reports also further expound the internal and multilingual code switching in Ann. Waray and English not just languages but lifeworlds, traversing them is both a responsibility and privilege, and Ann it seems, does not recognize it as either.

Tacoblan, or Leyte in general, as a location is presented as both central and peripheral – either some peculiar gothic outskirt but also as the nation’s microcosm. This fluid positionality is reinforced early in the book as several tangential events are mentioned; Balangiga massacre during the Filipino-American War, MacArthur landing in World War Two, First Lady Imelda Marcos’ humble hometown during her husband authoritarian reign, the mountains being refuge to colonial era rebels in the past to an on-going communist revolution in the present. These historical spotlights however are of little value to locals – more like textbook trivias. History moves in a circle for a people consistently battered by ecological havoc and perpetual underdevelopment, forces that feed each other. People just want to get back on their feet, at least until the next problem one comes along. Previous disasters can only be theorized by those who were able to, or lucky enough to, live through it like Ann. In an era of intensified environmental pillage and more frequent natural disasters, Remains is a novel of the plurality of tragedies.

When she has the closest thing to answers regarding the daughter of Mano Pater, Ann’s data collection is also done. Before leaving, Ann going drinking and blends easily with other foreign aid workers. A woman made out to be deranged starts haranguing them in Waray. Everyone is shocked and pauses, but only Ann comprehends. Just like in the beginning, she is haunted by the ghost of multiple voices. “My face went red at the violent accusation, that we were enjoying ourselves, bloating our bellies with food, while everyone else was suffering, dying of hunger. At the same time, a part of me was thrilled, titillated to hear the curses in Waray—you demons, sons of bitches, worthless whores. I was perversely elated at the honesty, the crudeness, the vulgarity of it.” After handing in her reports, both overwhelmed and dissatisfied from the trip, she contemplates going back. Daryll Delgado has composed a story written in prose that is ceaselessly blunt in one moment and allegorical in another, illustrating that bearing witness is a grey zone, paralyzing even, and often not enough by itself for people to be mobilized.  

I greatly admire the decision to make the book multilingual, in a broad sense, as  the English parts are longer than the sections in Waray. There is no attempt to render local reality using a foreign tongue, as is the common practice by postcolonial Anglophone writers – Filipino or otherwise, but instead English is put to a test on what it can and cannot do or express. It is often found wanting, but never denounced. The vulgar nationalist in me would prefer a story written completely in a local language, but Delgado’s endeavor to scrutinize English in both a local context and a transnational dimension is very impressive. A protagonist that is a development worker is a concise convergence for this self-critical creative exercise. The book is locally specific but undeniably global, and demands much more to Filipino readers also haunted by multiple voices and lifeworlds. I think another work that has done something similar, and successfully is Glenn Diaz’ The Quiet Ones (Ateneo de Manila University Press, 2017), with Filipino BPO workers and foreign execs as characters. Lastly, another layer is attained when we keep in mind Arundhati Roy’s notion that development work, or even simple charity, as a diffuser of dissent. My own outsider memories of Yolanda is made up of news of foreign aid workers availing services of evacuees pushed into prostitution, deflection of accountability by the Aquino regime in the expression tumulong ka na lang, and rotting food packages never distributed. This barrage of post-disaster state ineptitude not very different from the current Duterte regime‘s handling of the pandemic.

I am hopeful that more works like Remains about interrogative bearing witness to ecological disasters will emerged. Embarrassingly, I am not familiar to works tackling the damage of Yolanda to localities closer to where I am, namely in Central Panay. I remember I was a college senior when we were organizing a donation drive in campus when one of my teachers bemoaned the lack of media attention given to ruined areas of Western Visayas. It is not a competition, but in this country, attention like economic wealth is unevenly distributed. I recognize Remains as a more sustained act of remembrance. One story I am more well-versed in and openly endorse is Rain, Rain, Go Away (Chris Martinez, 2011), an episode of Shake Rattle and Roll 13, which is loosely based on, and a commentary to, the flooding Ondoy brought in Metro Manila in 2009, and again the plurality of experiences of the said tragedy. In Remains the creation gap is a bit longer as it came out in 2019, six years after Yolanda, but it is worth the wait, not to mention having a form to reflect on and eventually exceed. May others take up the task. When Ann is contemplating going back, I believe this restlessness to shed off the developmental frame is a step closer to a more radical potential, this time viewing the debris as objects of collective agitation not just of grief and aid.

I got my copy from the Lazada account of Ateneo de Manila University Press, but is also available at Savage Mind Bookshop in Naga.

Chapter One of Remains can be read at the November 2019 issue of Words Without Borders.

Kanlungan


Ang bagong service road
ay parang pasyalan      para sa mga nais
makaiwas sa sikip       ng downtown
mula sa Lapaz. Tahimik sa tabi ng ilog,
isang tinagong kanlungan.
Nakaharap din sa tubig ang matatas na
bakod gawa sa bakal, kung hindi man lubos mapaalis,
matulak man lang
ang mga barong barong.
Nakakatukso ang lawak ng aspalto,
para magpatulin ng maneho. Pero
ako’y nag-iingat tuwing nasisilayan
ang hiniwang lagusan ng mga residente,
dinadaan ng mga bata
papunta sa silong ng mga bakawan.

Siklo


Dinampot ang trapal
sa bakod ng pamantasan
ng mga pulis na nakikinig
sa protesta sa mula kabilang kalye
            sa ilalim ng flyover. Hindi pwede mabasa
ng mga dumadaan       sa makitid na sidewalk
ang kanilang naririnig.
Tinambangan ang abogado     ng mga Tumandok
isang gabi        sa payapa nang Gen. Luna,
iniwan nakatanim ang screwdriver
sa kanyang ulo at        dinukot ang bag na may laptop.
Baka karaniwang pagnanakaw lang,
            muni ng presinto ilang hakbang
mula sa pinangyarihan.           Para bang ito’y
magbibigay ng ginhawa.
Ang dahas, galing kanayunan,
ay sumusunod mismo sa mga balita. Hindi ito paghihimasok
sa syudad        paglantad lamang kung saan ito nagmula.

Three Poems of The Streets


Trailing after Trucks

From a distance one already
needs to slow down,
just the height of its wheels
on my eye level,
for sure I can’t be seen. People
stop and stare as they pass,
like a procession is taking place,
while covering their faces
from the dust left behind.

Often there’s three or four of them,
shadows merging and
extending the tremors in the streets.
When I trail behind them,
I get anxious thinking,
not of a possible accident –
they move slowly after all,
about the pit from where they came from,
and what is being erected where they are headed.

Lost

The news immediately clarified
that no person was hurt
and no property was damaged
by the cow
when it wandered
into the stretch of Diversion Road
one afternoon.
What wasn’t seen,
or what escaped the minds of
people in traffic;
is that there’s still corners of Mandurriao
with grasses taller than people,
canals not yet buried,
open spaces for play.
Where highway noise
is the one out of place.

Old Picture

Someone uploaded a picture
three decades old,
the water separating
roofs from open fields,
delineating where
Iloilo City
truly begins.
Cluster of fish ponds like a net
beside the river,
could still be glanced
from the street
before it was blown up
and made into a tourism poster.
The old picture
as litmus test
of people’s sentiment towards spaces.  

Photo by Vero Paloma, from the Facebook post of Nereo Cajilig Luján

Lumang Litrato


May nakahukay ng litrato
tatlong dekada na ang tanda,
tubig ang naghihiwalay

sa mga bubong at mga patag,
nililinaw kung saan
ang totoong simula

ng siyudad ng Iloilo.
Parang lambat ang mga punungan
sa gilid ng ilog,

masisilip mula sa kalsada
bago ito pinalobo
at ginawang paskil ng turismo.  

Pagsubok sa litmus
ang litrato
sa damdamin ng tao sa espasyo.

Ligaw


the cow was taking a stroll along Iloilo’s Diversion road around 3:00 p.m
-Gabriel Pabico Lalu, August 5 2020, Inquirer.net.

Nilanaw agad ng balita
na wala naman nasaktan
o sinirang ari-arian
ang kabalaw
noong mapadpad ito
sa lawak ng Diversion
isang hapon.
Ang hindi nakita,
o nawala sa isip ng
mga tao sa trapiko;
ay may mga sulok pa ang Mandurriao
na may lampas taong talahiban,
mga ilog hindi pa natabunan,
mga bakanteng lote pinaglalaruan –
saan ang ingay ng highway
ang wala sa lugar.

Kulang Na Silya at Iba Pang Kuwentong Buhay: Essays on Life and Writing by Ricky Lee (Philippine Writers Studio Foundation, Inc, 2020) [Book Review]


Officially this is Ricky Lee’s first book of essays, but devoted fans know that this is just formal category. Autobiographical elements of Lee’s life has been slipping through in his previous books like Trip to Quiapo and Sa Puso ng Himala, and more subtly in fictional works like Para Kay B, Bahay ni Marta, and Kung Alam N’yo Lang. A few episodes will be mentioned again in Kulang na Silya, but their retelling never feels redundant; misadventures as a child in a library in Daet, deciding to run away from the hardships in province, to the challenges of hand to mouth living in Manila. This time, the encounters unfold juxtaposed to a theme per chapter. The writer’s craft and his life is balanced, no matter how much Lee claims the latter to be uneventful.

The essays are formated unconventionally, paragraphs breaks are frequent. This makes for swift reading but this also demands for pauses are to be observed. Others might see this arraingement silimar to self-help books, which could be an intentional, but I would like to see this set up closer to that of poetry. The language is candid, Filipino and English are interchanging along with moments of either great humor or insight. What emerges is not just a profile of Lee as an individual, but also the historical moments recalled, and the local film industry that is both magical and cruel.

Especially poignant are musings on projects that never materialized. “Nasanay akong tanggapin na marami akong script na never nang matutuloy at mamamatay agad, parang mga aborted babies na naipon sa filing cabinet. Nanay akong laging nakukunan. Tuwing tumitingin ako sa filing cabinet ay para akong dumadalaw sa sementeryo ng mga script ko.” (p.24) And even if things do turns out well, commerially and/or critically, Lee will still have to come into terms with the fact that scriptwriters seldom take the centerstage. “Madalas kapag pinararangalan ang iba ko pang pelikula at tinatawag ang direktor, o iniimbita sa foreign festivals, di ako kasama. Andito ako, gusto kong isigaw, andito ako sa isang industriyang madalas na nakakalimutan ang writer. Pero natanggap ko na rin na it’s a director’s medium. At dahil ayaw ko namang magdirek, kailangang matanggap ko rin na bawat script na isusulat ko ay ipapasa ko sa iba, na parang anak na ipaaampon.” (p.25)

Another argument against the self help label would be the lack of a success story arc. By various criterias, Lee has made it, but he never projects so. A more obvious element is the inclusion of darker episodes; things that Lee may have overcome but is very much still experienced by many. Lee extracts writing lessons from these, but does not reduce misfortunes or injustices into simple character delevopment devices. Regarding his mother he barely knew, he writes, “Noong ikalawang araw daw ng burol ay umiiyak ako at tinatanong ang Tiyahin ko kung bakit hindi pa rin nagigising ang ina ko. It is a blank that you keep trying to fill up. Ito siguro ang dahilan kaya halos lahat ng mga character ko ng nanay sa mga pelikula at nobela ko ay very strong women. I keep trying to write my mother into existence, making her less of a stranger. Ang mga kuwento ko ay nanggagaling sa wala.” (p.64)

The stand out chapter for me is ‘Bubog’, where for the first time, at least for myself, Lee recreates his political detention for a period during Martial Law in a more indept manner. He has discussed this episode of his life in passing several times, but now there are more details on his health problems as well as the physical and emotional torture he endured. An encounter that is now seared in my mind is when Lee tried to convince a military officer that he needs medical attention by vomitting blood, a symptom of TB. He fails miserably. “Habang naglalakad pabalik sa kulungan ay halu-halo ang nararamdaman ko. Nagagalit ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako sumunod sa utos noong Colonel, pero nalulungkot naman ako na hindi ako nagtagumpay. Pero higit sa lahat ng ito ang kahihiyang naramdaman ko sa buong katawan ko. Ang tawag ko dito ay bubog. Isa siyang sugat sa loob mo na kailanman ay di na naghihilom. Lumipas man ang panahon, kapag may nabanggit na dugo, o TB, o Colonel, ay may hanging parang sumasanggi sa dibdib ko, pinaparamdam uli sa akin ang sakit.” (pp.89-90) However for Lee, trauma does not remain as a personal affair. It can become an artist’s creative motivation, but also a social responsibility. “Mahalaga ang bubog, lalo na sa pagsusulat. Nakabaon ito sa ating mga subsconscious at bahagi na nag ating emotional truth. Ang tunay na pagsusulat ay nagsisimula sa emotional truth ng manunulat. Dito ka humuhugot, para komonekta ka sa emotional truths din ng audience mo. Kailangang masugatan ang mga mata mo para mas makakita ka. Kailangang masaktan ka paulit-ulit. Ang mga sugat mo ang tutulong upang maghilom ang mga sugat ng iba.” (pp.96-97)

The idea of successful writer in the context of the country’s underdevelopment is interrogated several times, it is often fleeting if not illusionary all together. It is humourously explored in the essay ‘Being Famous (Daw)’. Tying together anecdotes with giants like Lino Brocka and Nora Aunor, Lee examines his stature over the years. He has a lot of reasons to be grateful, but he isn’t lowering his guard. “Pero mahirap ang fame. It affects the brain, and you get used to it. Naghahanap ka na lagi ng validation by being recognized by others. Nahihigop na ng pangalan mo ang buo mong pagkatao. Hindi na ikaw ikaw.” (p.118) These sections on trauma and fame are relatively heavy on one’s chest, but no where is cynicism promoted. Stories must still be told. If possible of the margnalized, and always with the purpose of uplifting their state in whatever way.  

The title essay ‘Kulang na Silya’ in the end appears to be the starting point for the whole collection, and loosely functions as a synthesis for all the chapters. It already reads differently from the usual graduation addresses, but now one reads it more comprehensively, as the one giving it just guided you to a cinematic journey of his life and career. That single speech addresses anyone, and could double as Lee’s poetics; optimism and wonder must be cultivated but also groundedness, dedication to the craft is essential along with equal commitment to the condition of others. “Isa sa pinakamakulay at pinakamahalagang bahagi ng buhay ko ay nang maging aktibista ako noong panahon ng Martial Law. Lahat ng mga personal na ambisyon ay kinalimutan ko. Ang buong buhay ko ay inilaan ko na para sa iba, para sa bayan. Nakulong ako nang isang taon sa Fort Bonifacio. Minsan sa gabi ay naiisip ko pa rin, paano na ang mga pangarap ko? Hindi na ba matutupad? But in the end I realized it was all worth it. Dahil wala nang sasarap pa kaysa pakiramdam na hindi lahat ng ginawa mo ay para sa sarili mo lang.” (p.134)

Kulang Na Silya is required reading; about a man passionately shaped by the craft of literature and cinema, and undoubtably, the other way around as well. This slim book is definitely one of the vital creative outputs produced during this pandemic, a time of uncertainty and repression, not very different to that of Lee’s youth. I am especially looking forward to the ‘political novel’ manuscript in the works mentioned briefly. It seems, Ricky Lee is not slowing down anytime soon. We should all be grateful. In this time of silences and misinformation, we should heed his call.  

Direk Marilou Diaz-Abaya is frequently mentioned in Kulang Na Silya. This docu is available until April 4.

Kulang Na Silya, and other Ricky Lee books, is available thru his official FB Account here. They could also be bought in Avenida Books’ Shoppee Account.

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